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Creativity and personal development – with kids

This message goes out to all tired parents and caregivers. If you don’t have children, then feel free to give this one a miss and go and either relax or do something productive.

Have you noticed how much personal development and productivity advice is completely impractical if you don’t live alone in a minimalist apartment with a pristine white couch? I see this a lot on Instagram and in the creative-adjacent world, and I want to give that a reality check.

It frustrates me so much. That whole ‘Miracle Morning’ thing, where you’re supposed to start the day with five minutes of silence, then follow up with affirmations, meditation, exercise, journaling, and so forth. I have a three-year-old, and it’s Not Going To Happen.

Without wanting to go all ‘mummy blogger’ (and this is the only time you’ll ever hear me use that term, because I despise it for innumerable reasons), this is what my mornings look like:

6.30 am (7 on a good day): ‘muuuuuum’
7 am: Get up for the day, after discussing the curtain pattern and drawing butterflies in the window condensation.
7.10am: Feed dog and cat. This task should take two minutes, instead it takes 10 because “I want to do it myself”.
7.15am: Turn on coffee machine. Get Weetbix out of cupboard. Put Weetbix in bunny bowl. Take Weetbix out of bowl and put back into box because “I want to do it myself”.
7.16am: Dog wants out.
7.20am: Make my toast.
7.21am: Dog wants in.
7.23 am: Dog wants out. Changes her mind and walks away from door.
7.25am: Make coffee. Wipe up Weetbix. Get more Weetbix.
7.26am: Cat wants in, but dog is in the way.
7.30am: Eat toast. Quickly check email/news. Hide phone, otherwise “I want to look at pictures of trains”.
7.40am: “I want sliced banana please”. Slice banana. Wipe up more Weetbix.
7.45am: Drink lukewarm coffee. Find milk spilled on floor. Call dog over to help.

Etc. In fairness to my husband, he does help a lot, but only when acceptable to the small one.

This is not conducive to a blissful, meditative start to the day. By the time everyone’s ready, the preschool run is done, the dog is walked, and the emails are taken care of, there’s not much time for journalling and getting in the right mindframe to start the day with a sense of calm and infinite possibility.

I’m not trying to give any answers here, by the way. It’s something I struggle with a lot. It’s all very well to say we all get our 24 hours, but so many of those belong to other people. And while I don’t buy into hustle culture and deliberately try to take a slower pace, I tend to enjoy feeling like I’ve actually achieved something, anything, for myself. We have preschool three days a week, but it’s hard when I feel motivated for work/development stuff on the other two.

So what can we do?

For me, I try and find those little moments in snatches through the day. When I was introduced to the Bullet Journal method, it was a game changer, because I don’t feel forced to sit down and get all introspective with long-form journalling. If the mood strikes there’s a place for it, but otherwise I can jot down a quick thought, idea, or moment of gratitude.

Or yesterday we went to Hamilton Gardens, which is such a happy place for me anyway, and watched ducks. It’s duckling season, and ducklings always make me feel good. I can’t necessarily say I feel more creative, but it sure beats staying at home trying to work out which area is the least wasted effort in tidying.

If I have something I can quickly do in 15 minutes I’ll try and make a point of doing that while my daughter is distracted with a book or a puzzle – it might be to outline a blog post or jot down an idea, take care of some invoicing, or any of those little bitty tasks that somehow take up ages.

I also love podcasts. Sometimes I’ll listen to one when I’m walking the dog, other times I’ll just enjoy being outside with her. I have an ingrained habit of watching crap TV in the hour or two between toddler bedtime and my bedtime, and I’m planning to sub in more podcasts in that time instead. Or go to bed early with a book.

This is a long post, so well done if you’ve made it this far.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that, if it feels hard, it’s because it IS hard. You’re not doing anything wrong at all if you’re struggling to balance your creative business with parenting. And you’ll probably have a few years where you don’t feel like you’re moving along as fast or as smoothly as you’d wish, because there’s just more to suck up your time and energy. Don’t compare yourself to other people who aren’t living your life.

But that’s the season we’re in. Soon enough it’ll pass, and another season will take its place. We just have to embrace everything we can, celebrate our successes, and trust in the process.

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